


The cry inside

by Lizzy_Lizard



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Sad, Sad and Happy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 05:20:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14561760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizzy_Lizard/pseuds/Lizzy_Lizard
Summary: The world may be quiet but inside I'm screaming.





	1. 1. A flawless kiss, and a broken promise

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like this fic. I basically wrote it because I was inspired by all of the other awesome stories I've been reading. So to everyone reading who has also wrote something on this fandom thank you so much.

We ran down the steps that lead to his taxi hand in hand. Even in this moment I couldn't help but notice how perfectly my fingers fit around his. When I was four or five I believed that I would know someone was for me when he rescued me from some kind of evil force that had me captive. Now, though it was not in the way I expected I knew that I had been absolutely right. Jacques Snicket had rescued me from the lonely life of the miserable, misunderstood Miss Caliban that I would have been. I wanted to thank him but I didn't, instead I found myself saying, "Promise me you'll find them."

It wasn't a question. When the Quagmires first came to Proofrock I remembered my jaw dropping wide open when I saw them step into my library. Two kids, visiting to actually read books. The only other person to ever visit my library had been Carmelita. I liked to call her a regular, for she regularly came in, insulted me in some way and left. The voice of the one and only Jacques Snicket broke my train of thought.

"I will." 

I looked at his eyes. There was a nobleness unlike any other hidden behind them. The way they looked at me, mixed with the sureness in his voice sent a vibration through my body down to the tips of my fingers and into every hair on my head. If this good man, this noble man, were to get himself hurt so help me I didn't know what I would do. 

"Promise me you'll take care of yourself?" I asked.

He almost laughed, "Of course."

I sighed and almost got into the Taxi before our eyes met, and electricity surged through my veins. I needed this again, I needed to see him, to know that he was there, to feel his hand in mine, to make literary references with him as we climbed up a building. I needed it. If I had to run away from everything, leave all that I knew to be with him I would. 

"Promise me we'll see each other again?" I wished it weren't a question. I hoped that he would answer with something like, 'of course' or 'why wouldn't we?' I liked the way he answered even more.

Before I knew what was going on I felt his lips against mine. The last time someone kissed me was in fifth grade when Johnny and his friends were playing a game of truth or dare. I remembered one of the boys yelling, 'Johnny kiss the nerd girl! I'll bet you can't handle that!' I was in the middle of reading the line, "The blame is just as dear a praise and praise as mere as blame" when Johnny yanked at my ponytail, smacked his lips against mine, and then recoiled yelling, 'Gross! Her breath smells!' Then I heard the laughing of young boys and felt the book being snatched out of my hand. I couldn't see through the tears but I could hear the ripping of pages as Emily Dickinson's poetry was thrown into the wind.

For many years I thought that would be my only kiss, I guess I was wrong. This kiss was nothing like my first one. I could feel electricity inside of me, inside of him. It made me feel like all of those hopeless love stories I had read might have had some truth to them after all. The kiss went on forever, a moment in time that was always there, and would always be there. Olivia Caliban and Jacques Snicket, standing by an open taxi parked inside the town of VFD. The night was dark, the world was quiet. 

I didn't realize that the kiss was over until I was already seated in the driver's seat of Jacques's taxi, a half mile away from the village. He wasn't there, and I had no idea when he would be back. I looked outside. There was nothing. Nothing but the night sky, and the open road. The world might have been quiet but inside I was screaming, "Jacques Snicket why do you do this to me!"


	2. An interminably long drive, and an interminably long night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're enjoying so far! Thank you to anyone who has commented or left Kudos.

The drive went on, and on, and on. It was strange, that when I had driven with Jacques time seemed to go by so fast. He had told me everything, and when he spoke to me, the world fell away. The road, the earth around us, even time seemed to dim it's light so that we could shine. Jacques Snicket and Olivia Caliban, nothing else. Nothing. Now, I thought, there truly was nothing. Nothing for miles. I had no one to talk to, nothing beautiful to see. "I wish Jacques was here." I didn't realize the words escaped my mouth until I almost heard a reply. 

'Why shouldn't he be?' I knew that the voice was in my head but it still startled me. I found myself thinking out loud again.

"I guess I could always pretend," I stated with only a slight crack in my voice. Of all of the time I had spent alone in my library I had never talked to myself, in fact the last time I had talked to myself had been... No I wasn't going to think about that, but then again, why shouldn't I? I was alone, no one would hear.

"After the accident when I was only 10," I began, before stopping for a second. What was I doing? 'Your pretending Jacques is here' I heard the voice in my head say. I sighed, I figured I would end up telling Jacques about it anyway. I did love him didn't I? "After I got out of the hospital and they told me that my parents didn't make it, I was sent to live with my grandmother." I shuddered at the thought of the vile old woman. "She was the rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril." 

I half expected Jacques to reply, 'The Merry Wives of Windsor, act 3 scene 5.' 

When he didn't I continued talking to nobody. "It didn't take a fortune teller to know that she hated me. After a week there she..." I shuddered, frightened by the memory. "She locked me in a tiny bathroom without a window. Don't ask my why she did it, because I don't know. Maybe she didn't want me talking to her friends when the all drank in the living room, maybe she hated the way I was so much like my father, the man she would never let her daughter marry, maybe it was just because she didn't want to look at me but whatever the reason I sat there, for days." I found myself gripping to the steering wheel so hard that my hands turned white. I felt tears on my cheeks. 

Something inside me could almost hear Jacques reply, 'I'm so sorry to hear that.'

"It's alright," I replied to nobody, "She put food under the door once a day, and eventually the police found out when they came to check my grandmother's house, after she became suspect of a bank robbery. In a way she kind of reminded me of the math teacher at Proofrock."

I sighed and clutched the wheel again. I looked straight at the road. Remembering some of the worst days of my life had not made the drive go faster. Remembering how I used to lean against the wall and whisper, 'It's going to be okay' to myself as I rocked back and forth nervously, in fact made the drive longer. But in a way it made me feel less alone. Even if Jacques wasn't here right now, I knew he was there for me. 

"I love you Jacques Snicket," I whispered.

I almost heard a whisper back, 'And I love you Olivia Caliban.' 

I felt a happy sigh come out of me and some kind of weight lift off my shoulders. I continued on the interminably long drive to Caligari Carnival, passing a last chance store, than a hospital, until eventually I saw it. A few tents standing in the middle of nowhere. It was far too late to go find Madame Lulu, so I parked, put the seat down, and went to sleep, hopefully in the morning everything would turn out.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed. Kudos and comments are very appreciated. The poem I mentioned was "Dear March Come In" by Emily Dickinson. It's my personal favorite. You should check it out.


End file.
